The Thriving Pyramid

  Do you feel like you are surviving through your day, or are you thriving through your day? This is the question that we asked our gymnasts in Mental Strength Training in the month of September. The goal was to get our athletes thinking about what it takes to be living life at their best. Then we gave them a simple tool that  provides a framework to turn that question into a set of practical actions. The tool is called The Thriving Pyramid. 

     The Thriving Pyramid provides us with a visual representation of the things we need in order to live a thriving life.  It is intended to ground us in life’s overwhelming moments, and help us maintain that sense centeredness during the peaceful ones. The Thriving Pyramid provides a simple representation of the foundation needed to excel in daily life. These foundational actions allow us to meet the needs of our physical, mental and spiritual selves. This includes nutritious food, water, sleep and mindfulness time or prayer time.

   By making sure we have a solid foundation that meets our physical needs, we can then move to the things that meet our need for connection and belonging.  If we are rested and fueled, we can exercise, resulting in connection to our bodies. If we have quiet time to connect with ourselves, we are usually able to engage fully in the time with the ones closest to us, creating a  feeling that we belong. If we are hydrated, our energy is better. We then have the ability to notice the things in our life that we are grateful for and connect to a spiritual level. These connection points make up the second level of the pyramid. They are actions that nurture connection to self, spirit and others. They are dependent on our foundation being solid and they are central to being able to relate to our daily life and the people in it. 

    The third level of our pyramid speaks to the goals our athletes have in their community. These are the things that positively impact others like how we show up at school, in our families and at the gym. Being aware of these goals  allows us to take our full cups and begin pouring out energy to others because our foundation is strong. We are fueled and connected to ourselves and others. This level may look different for each person, because we are each made to do different things in this world and are shooting for a variety of goals. 

 The very top of the pyramid is reserved for how we show up when we are at our best. Whether it is service or teaching or having fun, we ask the question of our gymnasts, “when you are at your best, what do you uniquely bring to the space that you are in?”. Some did not have answers for that, yet, and left it blank. Others knew with certainty. Regardless of whether or not the question was answered, the seed was planted. Each of our gymnasts is made to understand that they matter greatly in this world.

    This may all sound very idyllic, so how does this help our athletes? When overwhelm strikes, as it often does for our gymnasts, we now have a common framework to work from. If your daughter comes to her coach in a swirl of anxiety and overwhelm, they both now have a place to start figuring out what is going on. The coach can walk the gymnast through the pyramid. 

“How is your sleep?”

“Have you eaten?”

“How much water have you had today?”

    Starting with the foundation can reveal a great deal of information. Lack of sleep, eating or hydration can make small things in life seem overwhelming. The lack of energy created by lack of meeting our basic needs turns small problems into big ones. By looking at this level first, we can solve many of the problems our gymnasts bring us by simply getting them to a higher level of energy through making a plan to meet their physical needs. 

   If the first level is solid, then maybe it is a connection piece. I hear from our athletes all the time about how they haven’t had any down time or they haven’t seen their friends. The acknowledgement by seeing a “crack in their pyramid” can be the catalyst they need to schedule that soon or reach out to someone to lift the burden of overwhelm. It creates an actionable step that sets life back on stable ground. Acknowledging that there may be a crack in a connection block gives our gymnasts the framework to become aware of what they need and then seek it out. 

    The Thriving Pyramid is certainly not a magical tool. It will not fix every problem because life can get complicated and messy. It will not mean our gymnasts will never have an issue, or get stuck in overwhelm. What it does mean is that they are empowered with the knowledge of what their needs are and what actions meet those needs. They are now able  to quickly identify basic needs that are not being met or connection points that need attention. They see that they are a part of a community and that showing up for that community means first taking good care of themselves. They are now thinking along the lines of discovering how to show up as their best self instead of surviving through life. This is an exciting thing to be considering at such a young age and their ability to understand it is inspiring. As the year goes on, we will continue using The Thriving Pyramid to create conversation, build our mental strength and guide our gymnasts through the ups and downs of the season. 

For a step by step guide on how to create your pyramid, follow the directions below. 

Thriving Pyramid

.pdf

Download PDF • 9.12MB

Pyramid Guide

Level 1:

The first level of the Thriving Pyramid is our most basic needs. It is almost identical for every human because we need similar things to survive. 

• Water/medication

• Food

• Sleep

• Time Alone/Prayer/Meditation

Level 2:

The second level of the pyramid is our connection. What we are talking about here is actions that secure your connection to your body, your mind and your people. Humans are wired for connection and belonging. Without it we cannot survive. So what makes you feel connected? For some that may be a gratitude practice. Having a gratitude practice allows us to train our mind to notice the goodness of life. Our brains are wired to prove ourselves right, so by writing down 5 things to be grateful for each day, we are able to challenge our brains to find the good. 

Exercise may also be another form of connection with self. Exercise can help us clear our minds as we focus on the physical acts of our workout. We pay attention to our breath and how our body feels. It can help us to feel strong, and empower us to feel like we can handle what life throws at us.

Perhaps quality time with family or friends is another way to feel connected. So what about you? What makes you feel connected to your body, your mind and your people?

Level 3:

Climbing to the next level. Here, we take a look at goals and the greater good. These may not be things you are currently doing. These may be things that you would like to be doing but right now your cup is not full enough for, because you haven’t been engaging with your foundational blocks. That is ok, write them down anyways. 

This level is about how we want to be showing up in the world and the impact we want to make. For example, this level may consist of acts of kindness and building relationships. These things can help us build confidence in ourselves, and be more tuned into where we can be involved in our community. It takes energy to put out, but it also gives us energy to put back in our cup when we see the impact we can have over time. What habits or consistent actions allow you to achieve your goals and connect to the greater good? 

Level 4:

The final level is where we live when the bottom layers of our pyramid are strong. There is alignment in our life when our cup is full when our physical, spiritual and social needs are met. This level can be called your “Best Self”. 

What are you able to do when you are able to show up as your best self? For some it may be service. We can serve others at an exceptional level when we are strong and consistent in the other levels of this pyramid. What is at the top of your pyramid? 

—-

Now you have your pyramid; it looks great on paper and it seems like a good idea, but what is the reality of this way of living? The reality of this way of living has 3 main phases. 

The first is awareness. By the very act of filling out this pyramid and considering the concept that in order to be your best self you must take care of yourself, you are now going to be aware of things you weren’t aware of before. You will notice when you are not feeling 100% and be curious. Instead of blaming something external, you might ask yourself, how is the bottom of my pyramid? You will be able to see the cracks in the pyramid and you will know what to do. Eat. Sleep. Have some water. Sit out on the porch by yourself. Pray or meditate. As you notice and make small changes, you will see that your cup doesn’t get depleted as fast. It gets refilled a little at a time. It may not be full, but it is no longer at risk of being empty. 

The second phase is the “What am I going to do about it” phase. What we mean by this is, now that you have the awareness, have battle tested this a couple of times, and see the steadiness that being aware brings into your life, what are you going to choose to do next? Initiating action to engage with the higher levels of your pyramid requires you to have a strong enough desire to fill your cup and a fundamental belief that if you do, your life or the lives of the people around you will be better. If you start a gratitude practice, you are going to have to make time in your day to get it done. It is going to feel awkward at first. You will have to put forth some front end effort and for the first few weeks, and it may just be hard. Once you strengthen that block though, it will serve the rest of your life, your goals, your priorities, your energy and your purpose. 

Phase three living will allow you to feel a greater sense of self efficacy, confidence and groundedness. You are now aware and taking action. You are in control of the controllables. Walking through the first and second phase of implementation is difficult, learning to rely on that foundation in phase 3 is empowering. You are able to show up with a full cup, refueled energy, and reserves. Now, you can chase those goals, be the leader you want to be, and show up for your people well. This does not mean that you can take your eye off of your foundation. You have to keep inspecting your pyramid for cracks. You have to look each day or each week and say - are these blocks still strong? Sometimes life will throw you off course and the answer will be no. No, it was a busy weekend stacked with sporting events and social obligations. No, I was traveling and my sleep is off. No, I was sick and needed time to recover. All of those things will happen. Only this time you will be aware that your cup is empty. You will know where to look to identify the problem. You will be able to take action. You will course correct faster than you did before. Ultimately, you will spend more time living as your best self and accomplishing your mission and goals.