It's back to school time. If your household is anything like mine, you are all trying to figure out how to navigate the new normal. Schedules are changing, the kids are adjusting to school expectations, athletic demands are shifting and the fun of the Fall activities looms in the coming months. All of these things mix together to create what can feel like a hectic situation for all. As much as I love this time of year, it does present its own unique challenges, especially for families with kids in athletics. At Thrive and in my own home, we operate by the “Rule of 4 Weeks” in order to make this time of transition easier and give ourselves language to help understand what we are experiencing during this time.
The “Rule Of 4 Weeks” is a concept that has proven itself true time and time again. It is the belief that anytime we have a time of transition, a new challenge or change in the routine of daily life, it tends to take about 4 weeks for the new way of doing things to feel familiar. The “Rule Of 4 Weeks” can be broken down like this:
The first week is exciting. The energy is high and the newness makes everything feel a little more fun and/or a little more nerve wracking. The energy is buzzing and that energy carries us through the challenges of the first week.
The second week reality starts to creep in. The school work gets more “school-y”, practices seem a little longer and the newness begins to wear off. There is a slight feeling of being disoriented and off center. That disoriented energy carries us through the week, but it doesn’t feel as good as the high energy of week 1. The end of this week can bring fatigue and a need for more rest than normal.
The third week is usually the most challenging week. The kids can be more tired and the monotony is beginning to set in. The routine begins to feel more comfortable, but the high energy of the last two weeks is missing. There is more irritability and you may start hearing things like “this is too hard”, “can I stay home”, “I'm too tired”, etc. The energy levels ebb and flow throughout the week. The good thing about week 3 is that you are almost through the transition.
And then, just when you are thinking maybe this is all a big mistake, the 4th week hits and all is “normal” again. The energy is calmer, the kids tend to go about their day as if it is routine, and while there are still ups and downs they are often more measured. Adjustment has been made and the way things used to be starts to feel more distant. By the end of this week, you know it will all be ok. The good news? Week 5 should be even better and for the majority of our kiddos, it is smooth sailing from here!
Why is it important to share this concept with our kids and remind ourselves of this each year? Because as parents and coaches in our children’s lives, encouraging them to stick through “the yuck” helps them to build resilience and trust in themselves. The idea that they can persevere through the uncomfortable long enough to get back to comfort is an incredible life lesson that will benefit them for years to come. By explaining the “Rule of 4 Weeks” to our kids, we can let them know that the varying feelings and discomfort they feel is normal. It won’t last forever and they are capable of surviving and even thriving through it. This reassures their experience and also lets them know that we believe they can handle challenges.
When helping our kiddos ride out the challenges of these first 4 weeks, it can be helpful as parents to have some action steps to take. This will allow us to help them through the “yuck” while also allowing them to struggle a bit to find their way through. Here are 3 easy things parents can do to help our athletes through this transition time:
Provide Consistent and Healthy Food Choices - Having easy to grab, nutritious snacks and meals on hand will keep your child’s brain and body fueled. A few go to options might include:
Fruit in a to-go container
Cut up veggies and dip
Peanut butter and apple slices
Hard bodied eggs
Yogurt with blueberries
Egg muffins
Refuse To Negotiate On Sleep - Our kids, especially our Middle and High school ones, will often try to push bedtime later during this time. They feel overwhelmed, have so much to do and are adjusting their energy levels to the new normal. They may want to stay up later to have free time or to get their work done. Stay strong on the bedtimes! Homework can get done during advisory periods, friends can wait until the morning for their text response, and tv shows can be caught up with on the weekend. Be diligent about requiring a bed time that will leave your child rested and refreshed in the AM. By Friday, they may even thank you for it!
Create Space and Rest - The need for rest and down time is real, especially as our kids navigate the 4 weeks of transition. If you see your child run down, exhausted or just all around in need of a break, give it to them! Skip the practice, cancel the playdate, or pass on the invite to the birthday party. Create opportunities for down time so that your child can have space to rest, process and recover as they adjust to this new normal.
Navigating the first 4 weeks of the school year can certainly be a challenge. By utilizing the “Rule of 4 Weeks”, you can provide yourself and your children with a concrete understanding that this too shall pass. They will learn that they are capable of surviving through the hard parts. Each time they navigate a set of 4 weeks that challenges them, they will continue to build a foundation of strength and resilience that will allow them to thrive for years to come.
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